In recent months, I have made an addition to my most frequently used mantra, ie
'Nothing's perfect; no-one's perfect' and it is, 'I'm not perfect!'
This has helped me quite a lot in situations where someone has hurt or upset me. I am not a person who can easily react when hurt. My reaction goes inwards and I brood and 'go over' the injustice or 'unfairness' as I perceive it and cogitate over what I might or could or should have said in response.
I often spend hours writing letters in my head (or sometimes on my notepad) which I rarely send. (On the few occasions when I have actually sent the letters, it has been known to backfire, although sometimes, with the right person, it can be constructive. *See below.)
If, however, in the ensuing moments of a hurtful (to me) incident, I manage to walk away and whisper to myself, "Well maybe I wouldn't have done or said that particular type of thing or behaved in that particular way, but there are many ways in which I fall short of what I believe is the right way to behave.
I have found that this can help to take away the sting.
(*It once took me five years to write a letter to a very close friend to explain how I had felt about a very stinging comment she had made. I was then really scared about what her response might be.
Almost by return of post, she sent me the most lovely reply with a very sincere apology and it restored our friendship to what it was - and still is today - so it can work.)
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