Saturday 31 January 2015

About actORs and actresses - and 'guys'

I have to confess to a irritation with, and dislike of, a trend of recent years to call actresses, as I've always known them, actORs (and yes, they really do seem to stress the 'TOR' bit!).

Why, I wonder, has this come about? It seems to be part of a trend to underplay the differences between, and complementarity of, male and female and yet, for me, these are part of the wonder of life itself.

Do actresses who wish to be called actors, not realise that they may actually be implying, albeit unwittingly, that the title 'actor' is of more value and worthy of more respect than that of 'actress'. Surely that is the opposite of the ideals of equality in difference that we should all affirm.

Whilst it is true that there are no equivalent feminine versions for words such as doctor, director and many others, where there are, surely these are part of our linguistic and cultural heritage and should be treasured and valued as such.

Could it be the same issue in those areas where girls/women seem to feel they have to emulate male behaviour in order to compete with, be the same as or even 'best' the boys/men? By its very nature, this attitude seems to undervalue the intrinsic worth of all people, be they male or female.

While on this tack, I should also say that I really don't like hearing the word 'guys' used to address women (or even men, for that matter) as is so often the case today, particularly in the media.

Of course I want to be recognised as a person in my own right first, but am proud to be a woman and happy to feel that my person-hood is, in some very intricate and mysterious way, filtered through the lens of my womanhood.

Sadly, I can see no obvious modern term which would be generally acceptable to most of us today. 'Ladies and gentlemen' is somewhat old-fashioned and staid maybe, as is 'folks' as a generalised term.  Would that there were.

We know that there are still serious issues of inequality between men and women and even, sadly, injustice and ill-treatment of women by men, and maybe even, in some instances, vice versa, but generally, where this is not the case, can we not learn to value each other for what and whom we are.

It would be wonderful to live in a world where men and women do not feel that they have to compete with one another but one in which we can all learn to live in harmony with, and respect for all, in order to build up rather than try to cut each other down.

Personally, I love the concepts of femininity and masculinity and believe that to enhance these aspects of each man and woman could only help to make the world a better place.


Thursday 15 January 2015

About fairy tales / The Princess and the Pea

This is a really strange little story which has always intrigued me; why, I'm not quite sure.

STORY

Late one night, in the middle of a bad storm, a young lady knocked at a castle door and asked for shelter.
She said she was a princess.
She was given a very soft bed for the night which had seven mattresses piled up upon each other. 
In the morning she complained that she had had no sleep and was black and blue with bruises from the very uncomfortable bed.
The bed was examined and was found to have a pea underneath the bottom mattress. It was decided that the pea was the cause of all the trouble.
This was supposed to show that she was a true princess and she married the prince (there's always a handy one of those in a castle, isn't there) and they lived happily ever after.

MEANING

Only a true princess would have been so sensitive to a small pea under so many soft layers.
Although she sounds like a complete pain in the neck and could well turn into a shrew of a wife, let alone a Queen, in truth, genuine sensitivity is one of the most attractive aspects of a person. No-one really likes an insensitive person, as long as we're talking about sensitivity to others and the world in general and not just sensitivity to ones own wants and desires. The latter would indicate a spoilt brat, to be avoided at all costs.

DEEPER MEANING

A bad conscience is a stone in the shoe of our lives.

Have you ever noticed how you cannot walk even a short distance with the smallest stone in your shoe. You balance (precariously, in my case) on one leg, feeling very foolish and wondering who's watching you, remove and shake your shoe upside down only to see the smallest stone fall out and you think, I can't believe that little thing was causing me so much pain!
So it can, and maybe should, with conscience.
Whatever the awkwardness and embarrassment involved, it is ALWAYS worth removing that stone and shaking it out of our lives.





Sunday 11 January 2015

About fairy tales / The Princess and the Salt

I have had a lifelong interest in fairy tales, why, I'm not quite sure. It's the meanings hidden within them, I think, that fascinate me. It's a theme I'd like to think of as a strand I could write about often but as I have only one piece of paper left and this is the first item on it, here goes.
What follows is an outline of a story which I remember from primary school but have never been able to trace. I love it.

THE THREE PRINCESSES

There were three princesses named Anina, Belina and Carina. (My names)
Their father, the King, wanted to find out how much they loved him. (Is this sounding familiar?)
The first two made up extravagant answers. (They really weren't very nice characters at all.)
The third daughter said that she loved him as much as the salt in her food. (In fact, she was the only nice one of the three.)
The King was furious with her and she was banished.
The elder daughters were pretty horrible to the King, showing their true colours.
The youngest heard about this and came back to the palace and managed to find a job in the kitchen.
And yes (you've guessed it) she cooked him a meal without salt. When it was brought to him, he raged about it and sent for the cook.
His daughter revealed herself to him and explained what she'd done and he understood what she'd meant all along.
The two baddies were banished and the King and his only truly loving daughter lived happily ever after.
..................................................................................................................................
(A student of the history of literature could probably tell me that there's a common source of world stories which have inspired our greatest writers through the ages. Son no.2 once found a similar tale to this from an Italian source.)
..................................................................................................................................
The meaning for me in this is as follows:
King-foolish-vain.
Older sisters-flattering-avaricious-uncaring-false.
Youngest-won't lie-knows true values.
Salt in food-preserves-gives taste-flavour-savour-is earthy-can purify-protect-heal.

What can it say to us?
Be truthful-don't listen to flattery-know true values-stay grounded-value purity.

Husband has just added "Be the salt of the earth." Oooh! Impressive, what!! And this even pre-dates Shakespeare.


About how much we know (or think we know)

The more I know, the more I know I don't know.

The less I knew, the more I thought I did know.

Have you ever noticed that some people are inclined to consider themselves experts on one particular subject or another with which, really, we'd say they have had very little experience.
When I was expecting my first baby, a lady I knew, who'd had one son, was very happy to give me all sorts of advice and, even worse, to frequently recount the rather grim experience she'd had of her one and only labour (which was why, I strongly suspect, this remained the case).
I have to say it made very little impression on me and I went into that procedure quite blithely, expecting it to be a bit of a doddle because I'd read the books and been to the classes and really thought I knew the score.
Needless to say, it didn't quite pan out as expected but I survived and even went on to have more children but never considered myself to be an expert in the matter of childbirth and was very loathe to give much advice to anyone unless asked. Those friends of mine with more than one child have mostly seemed to feel the same as I do.
Despite bringing up a family and surviving life thus far, there aren't many things on which I feel qualified to pronounce with authority; hence my opening mantra. (This isn't the case with opinions, you understand. I'm up there with the best of them in being more than happy to share those, as anyone who knows me will confirm; more's the pity, they'll probably add with a grimace!)
When you think that someone of the stature of Isaac Newton, I think it was, could write, "If I have seen further than most men, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of giants.", it behoves most of us to view our own knowledge as partial and limited.
The older I become, the more I cringe about some of the attitudes I spouted forth upon in my youth. I can only hope that my friends have as poor a memory as I have. If so, it may explain why they don't seem to hold it against me too much. (Maybe we could learn to see that as one of the blessings of getting older!)