On the transitory nature of things

Everything we have, whether good or bad, is, 

in the great scheme of things, 
fleeting, transitory.

May we learn to treasure what we have that is good,
while we have it, rather than bemoan its loss;
and withstand what is bad, while it lasts,
knowing and trusting that it will pass.

On the wonders and mysteries of the 'combi' boiler

The title of this post came to me shortly after the installation of our new boiler. Its advantages were immediately apparent but so were some initial puzzles. In recent months it had its third annual service!! (My wheels do grind extremely slowly, I know!) Perhaps it's as well because I feel as though I've finally come to grips with it.
To start with the wonders, well, firstly, it's saved us a lot of money, living, as we do, in a Victorian semi, with excessive lengths of inaccessible and uninsulated water pipes. Also, we no longer have to worry about emptying the hot water tank with more than one bath!
The water is only heated when needed and can be warm in the middle of the night (when people of our age (ie over 60) may very well need to use it). All the water in the house is fresh and drinkable, coming as it does directly from the mains, rather than standing in an open tank in the loft, collecting flies and other unmentionables.
There were a few problems initially, such as the very fierce pressure of the cold water in the kitchen, which wore out quite a good tap rather too quickly but that has been adjusted and is fine now, as is the new tap!!
The greatest problem was waiting for the hot water to come through! Having been a maths teacher, and priding myself on understanding the principle of 'inverse proportion' (think 'number of people sharing a cake'; in our case, less water, same heat should give hotter water!), I thought I was being clever by running the water slowly.
It took an absolute age for the water to come through hot; very frustrating. When someone suggested running it fast at first, I was inwardly dubious but to my puzzlement (and dudgeon) it worked.
Then, it hit me! I had forgotten about the afore-mentioned lengths of water pipes. The water only starts to warm up as it leaves the boiler as soon as the tap is turned on, so all the cold water which is in the pipes already has to be run off first. So, fast at first, slowing down when the warm water starts to come through was the answer to that problem.
My next issue was topping up the bath water! Being a lover of a long soak in the bath, when I tried to heat the water up, the tap would run pockets of cold, then hot water and so on, until it reached a steady state, by which time the overall temperature was colder than before and the bath way too full.
(We have a long history of water coming through the ceiling and down the light fitting below into our dining room. (Honestly, I'm not exaggerating, it's true!!)) Also, the over bath shower, which I use at the end of the bath, was freezing cold. Now that really was a tragedy!
Oh the joy when, a month or so ago, I finally hit on the answer to both problems. I run the bath from the shower head!! I start it off and when it's get-in-able, I turn the water down to a trickle and allow it to slowly run in until I'm ready to shower and emerge, clean - and very warm!! Oh, it's absolutely gorgeous and it's only taken me 3 and a bit years to finally crack the mysteries of the blessed combi boiler!!

On worrying about our parenting skills

Do you anguish over your failings and failures as a parent?

Please don't. It is impossible to be a perfect parent.

All we can hope to do is our best on the good days

and learn to live with our worst efforts on the bad days.

Let us try to accept this

and know that it will not damage our children

irreparably.

They too have to learn to live

with the limitations and imperfections 

of their own lives,

including their families.

Perhaps it is this, as much as anything,

which helps them to grow.

Above all, we must not kowtow to them

out of a false sense of guilt.

This is one of the worst mistakes we can make.
They will learn 'us', with all our ways, as long as we are ourselves with them
and that's the greatest lesson of all.

On cogs and wheels

Each one of us is a cog in the great wheel of life.
Each one of us is unique and vital.

On being happy within ourselves

The happier we are within ourselves,
the happier we will be with others.

This is one of those comments which I feel needs more explanation, otherwise, it can sound rather trite.
Being happy within ourselves means, to me, not needing other people to make us feel ok about ourselves.
It's another aspect of learning to accept ourselves for who and what we are, imperfect though that will always be.
If we rely on others to make us feel ok about ourselves, we will always be disappointed.

Perhaps I feel qualified to write this, having spent most of my life looking for affirmation and reassurance from others! It generally drives people mad, I find.
Sometimes, I receive it, especially from friends who tolerate my foibles because they're very long-suffering pals.
( I have tried, unsuccessfully, of course, not to look to husband for such bolstering. This mostly makes him so irritated, I receive the opposite!!)

About prejudice

If we experience prejudice of any kind,
it may appear to be about the colour of OUR skin,
OUR race, OUR nationality or OUR physical appearance
or any other personal attribute.

We need to be absolutely clear that it is, in fact,
always about the inner inadequacies of those who perpetrate the prejudice.

It is about THEIR fears and THEIR insecurities.
It is a way of 'dumping' THEIR 'stuff' on someone else.

It is entirely cowardly, the action of a bully, a very 'sad' person.
A 'whole' person has no need to 'pick on' someone else.